Article by Daniel Millions
Often men and women are at opposite ends of the spectrum when the issue of relationships is taken into account. Their behaviors and differences are most noticeable when taking into consideration how they behave during emotion charged conflicts. This provides a clear insight into realizing how they process their differences.
According to surveys written by relationship counselors, limited communication is credited for more than half of the failed relationships that are observed and documented. This is not a surprise to anyone who has lived inside a relationship that has lasted more than a couple of weeks.
One very interesting factor is the number of reasons that lead to the failure of relationships. Stories of the behavioral misdeeds and misunderstandings that trigger relationship disasters reveal an intricate series of obvious manipulations.
Differences in how individuals in a relationship were raised and the reasons couples came together in the first place can differ so much that their motives often contribute to tears in the fabric of the relationship.
One example is the emotional baggage one or both partners may carry from from having survived terrible childhood experiences. What is learned from each perspective that is observed provides examples that counselors apply from their session successes and small failures.
This equips them to help couples from a diverse range of points of view. The knowledge and experience of long sessions with couples focused coaching provides relationship coaches a rich storehouse of tools for helping partners in a relationship.
The old expression, ?Knowledge is power,? sounds true once it is pointed toward a relationship?s survival. When couples take even a few minutes to focus on their relationship strengths, they can learn to make the relationship stronger. By stronger I mean, the strength that many relationships experience is founded on old mental junk being experienced over and over by the partners.
In nearly every situation couples keep their baggage a secret from their partner. Most of the time partners wait until it?s too late to share their baggage with their partner. The primary issue that hurts the relationship is often not the emotional baggage or the related issues that contribute to the break up of the relationship.
What tends to accelerate the failure of the relationship is the silent misery and suffering compounded with a quietly held feeling that the other partner should actually know everything about this baggage, even though neither of them has ever risked talking directly about the issue that causes them to suffer.
Working to make your relationship work may seem like a big task but often adding more humor can have an amazing impact. There are many ways to put your relationship on a different track, but it may take lots of out of the box thinking to get the ball rolling. John Maxwell, the extremely talented author of ?Relationships 101,? says, ?People don?t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.? In many relationships couples ignore this most valuable part of any relationship?s potential for improvement.
Thinking more about looking at ways of growing your relationship outside he physical level of living together, means each partner must be profoundly dedicated to the other partner. Once both partners center on their loyalty to each other change can begin.
This step includes undertaking the risk of assuming each of the partners is keeping a secret about the baggage they bought into the relationship. This is not a suggestion that partners pry or aggressively intrude into the other partner?s privacy, because privacy is always vital in a relationship.
The message here is that while privacy must forever be honored, partners must share the secrets that could hurt the relationship if they are not disclosed. Communicating is not requiring your partner to divulge every detail of their day. True communication travels to physical and emotional locations untouched by words alone.
What helps to translate the balance that is required starts with looking into the heart of the matter and searching for a means of locating a handle on one?s own baggage. Many times partners are attracted to each other because of their differences.
It is well known that children who experience an abusive environment will mostly find themselves in an abusive relationship as an adult. Acknowledging the reality of the presence of this baggage in one?s self forms the basis of the subconscious desire for the other partner?s understanding in the form of silent knowing.
Additionally, it is also true that this baggage, once revealed, helps the partner gain an enhanced understanding of the behaviors and barriers that have been part of the relationship. The healing and preventative process should start out with a message and an understanding that all old baggage, both known and unknown, lives|in the relationship.
Both partners must also acknowledge that open and honest communication is the primary component for the success of the relationship, while limited communication can be the main cause for any potential for the failure of the relationship. Relationships where limited communication is the norm won?t survive.
Relationships survive when open and sensitive communication is active and practiced regularly. Once open communication is ends, so does the relationship.
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